An open letter to my one and only blackout

September 7, 2008

I wake to this ache and haze,
to a memory full of snapshots
oddly out of order. One moment,

lips on lips, the next thrusting motion
the next, in sleep. I wake alone
at the wrong end. This girl

in my bed is angry with me,
and I know there is something
I forgot, something important.

My body’s scent is off, its motion
is delayed then rapid. What did you
do to me, missing time, missing life
I have no clue what messes I made

what pleasures you erased. I am certain
that you are somewhere inside me
still, waiting to eat more of my life,

you’ll reach inside my brain and suck
the dew off of every moment. This little
bit of time, this girl, all so trivial, but

I want my moments to last, to hold
me, they are mine, but gone, black
as this, I cannot stand.


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3 responses to “An open letter to my one and only blackout

  1. I am considering an edit here, adding in something about swallowing astringent and sugary fluids to erase the things I love the most.

  2. hmm, i don’t know where you’d add that in, but I like some of this a lot.

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