What I was thinking when I did that stupid thing

I was wanting
to fly – desperate
for one moment of sheer
joy, passionate for excitement –
no matter how short lived.

So, I climbed, placing one
foot above the other, dragging
my emmense weight up
up up into another woman’s heaven.

At the top, the world
was a child’s play thing. I imagined

a giant blue air bag, the sort that
stunt men use, and I ran, I ran as fast
as I could, right arm windmilling

like it did when I was very young,
running to get into the line
that goes back to class at the end
of recess. I ran to the edge

and kept on going and flew. I felt
my body travel out and down,
an arc to the ground. I chose

a shorter building, so there would
only be joy
none of that
oh god
what did I do.

There was heart punding joy,
like riding the best
roller coaster ever

and that was it. That was
the end.

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Filed under lust and love, Musings, poetry

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