I’m not sure I can handle this

I have a family reunion tomorrow with the “bad” side of the family. I’m staying at my parents tonight and my father asked me how long I wanted to stay there tomorrow. I nearly said I wanted to put in an appearance and then leave.

Someone I’ve been avoiding has surfaced again. I get the feeling, though, that the return has more to do with me being close to someone she wants to be close to. I want to scream, Fuck You. I want to give up. At the same time, I want to see her. In an odd way, I feel much more secure if I feel she has a loyalty to me. I don’t trust this person. I’m still crushed under it all, and little bits of it squelch out the edges. I hate that I’m being so vague, and I want to erase this whole paragraph, but at the same time, I think I sort of HAVE to say something, somewhere, besides just to LK.

In much, much better news… I have an interview for a great grant writing position next week!

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Filed under Frustrations and Rants, lust and love, Musings

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