Writing on walls

Poetry Thursday’s assignment this week: if these walls could talk.  While my personal walls would probably say that I’m pretty boring, the narrator of this poem’s walls may say something different…

I am a boiling pot with a lid
that jangles.  Whenever I go

to open a door, it bangs
on it’s hinges and the bangles

at my wrist clang and clatter,
and when my walls begin

to talk, they’ll say, as I once did,
please stop.  But just like you

so long ago wouldn’t,
I, too, refuse to sway, this drywall

will crumble beneath my rage
and you will be the one to smooth

over the hold that’s left this time
while I continue on my way.

17 Comments

Filed under Frustrations and Rants, lust and love, Musings, poetry, poetry thursday, writing

17 responses to “Writing on walls

  1. I like the defiance of the ending, the sheer will that coalesces to the surface and makes itself known.

    “I, too, refuse to sway, this drywall will crumble beneath my rage and you will be the one to smooth over the hold that’s left this time while I continue on my way”

    There is palpable strength in these words, an inner light that radiates outwards. I needed these words, even if they were never intended for my ears. Thank you.

    I also really enjoyed the line breaks, I rarely pay attention to structure, but it adds an entirely different dimension to your words that I had to comment on them.

    What a wonderful way to start off Poetry Thursday!

  2. Great poem. Just like Superhero Activist, I really liked the defiant feel to the ending and the line breaks. Thanks for sharing it.

  3. Wow, thank you both for the comments. I really appreciate it.

  4. I like the form and structure, it moves you from emotion to emotion. Thanks for sharing your words.

  5. Jon

    This isn’t my normal habit, but something about your poem compelled me to re-read it, aloud. It sounded so good that I read it aloud twice more. What great movement. I really enjoyed this poem. Thanks for sharing it.

  6. I adore these lines/rhyme:

    “and when my walls begin

    to talk, they’ll say, as I once did,
    please stop. “

  7. great poem! We should stop and listen more often, you know 😉

  8. The poem starts with some great images, very well done.

  9. Thanks again, everyone. I have a lot of reading to do on all of your posts, I can see.

    Slynne

  10. i love the descriptions of sounds. when reading this, it was as though i could hear instead of image – and i am one who usually gets caught up in the visual. this took me to the place of hearing what the walls here…

    so glad you took on the prompt!

  11. I like how auditory the images are. I could hear the clanging pot and bangle bracelets, and like the others, could feel the defiance! Very nice!

  12. I really like the opening images– the pot, the bracelets, the hinges. Very nice.

  13. The message of abuse is almost lost in the subtilty. Well written.

  14. Love the rhyme and rhythm of this piece. Cool.

  15. I enjoyed this poem a lot, especially the sounds in the first few stanzas, the jangling lid and the bangles.

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