Do anything but let it produce ecstasy

This is yet another search term to get here. 

I like it.  This could be a theory on life, one that has led me in the past.  Not so much lately, but it created good stories in it’s time.  Now, though, I have regrets.  Because people suck, because I can’t be trusted, because I have poor judgement.  That is where all that ecstasy got me.

Not that avoiding ecstasy is equal to not experiencing happiness.  I am probably the happiest person I know.  But I can no longer trust blind ecstasy.  And I used to trust and chase it so. 

The person searching for this is an uncorrupted, inexperienced version of me, a me that I am in love with this evening.  She is looking for others who share her strange passion for everything.  She is a hedonist.   Nothing has marred her vison of herself and the world.

She is looking for answers to all the world’s questions.  There is a passion that she cannot understand.  She is searching in every corner, but she hasn’t found anything yet.  And so, she turns to google for answers.


Filed under lust and love, Musings, writing

4 responses to “Do anything but let it produce ecstasy

  1. No ecstasy for me lately, either, but conversely, no total misery. Can’t have one without the other, right? Now I just feel slight joy and mild depression…

  2. narcoleptic

    Hedonist huh? I’m not sure if that’s the word you’re looking for. The purity of those that are seeking blind ecstasy are either niave or overly optimistic.

    As such, I’d have to agree that said person has “Nothing that has marred her vision,” for we all cdarry the baggage of experience in some sense. thereby, making us all more cautious and cynical . . . or maybe that’s just me. But almost everything after, is typically compared to that first mark of hurt. Eventually, we learn to take the experience as a lesson and move on. In the world of psychology, I guess this would be called conditional learning . . . YAY Pavlov and Young.

  3. Narcoleptic, thank you for the thoughtful comments. That minor in psychology is definately paying off. However, I tend to stand by my word choice. And twitches, I guess we’re both just growing up…

  4. “And so, she turns to google for answers”

    Great piece. I especially loved the last line.

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